So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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