She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
