I love black thongs
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We left the knife in your bed.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
