so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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