Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
