So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
