Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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