I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
