Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My ass is underappreciated
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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