i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
