She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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