i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
