I forgot how hot balto sounded
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
