i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
