I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
