Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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