so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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