He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
