We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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