I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
