You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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