you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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