Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
