Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
