It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
