I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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