Define "chronic" masturbator.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
