You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
