apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
