she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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