You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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