so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
