Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize