are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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