You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
