you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Two words: blizzard sex
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
