My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
