OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
