Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
