You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
