Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
