doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
