How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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