He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize