i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
