Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
