Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
