Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
