Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
wow bdsm is so cute
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