"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
