i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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