I am puke
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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