I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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