How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
