Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
