You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
