So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
These tits shall not be calmed
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize