so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
