I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
