Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
