Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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