you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
