You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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