hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
