We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
