Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize