so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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