Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
