I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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