One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
