Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
